Do the Thing

It's important to learn about yourself, to find out what makes you happy and to get great ideas about how to rid your life of misery. It's an entirely different thing to take action on those ideas and inspirations.... to actually DO what you know in your mind will help you. Whenever you catch yourself using the word "should", you know you're in trouble with the doing part. Thinking doesn't take any time. Doing does take time. Take time to meditate, take time to be with your children, take time to call you parents or your friends, take time to go to the gym or just take a walk. If you're not willing to Do the Thing, saying you 'should' just sounds like whining. And nobody wants to hear that.

The power of a good conversation

I know this has happened to you. You run into someone you haven't seen in a really long time, and after the initial small talk and catching up, you pick up your friendship right where you left off. The details of each of your lives is there for discussion, but the conversation turns to what's going on now, and connecting in the present. Some friendships seem to go on 'hold' during the times apart, then the 'play' button is pushed and it feels like no time has passed. Laugh with your friends, be serious, share what's going on today. Then when you part again, you will know that the connection is still there, and that somewhere in the world, someone is keeping your conversation on hold, patiently waiting for the next talk. These people are part of us, and we are part of them. Remember that they are there.

Anger and Responsibility

A couple of references for this morning: A Pema Chodron YouTube clip and a quote by Krishnamurti.

As I am not a sophisticated YouTube video imbedder yet, you'll have to copy the following into your browser address and access it that way:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buTrsK_ZkvA&feature=player_embedded

"Want to know my secret? ...I don't mind what happens!" ~ J. Krishnamurti

There is another option. We can change our minds.

More passings

It seems like each day I hear about another pet who has passed.  Our non-human friends who live with us and love us are so amazing... I love my dogs, who are almost 13 years old, litter mates and such sweet companions I hate to ever leave them.  Of course, after their first greeting when I come home, they disappear to the couch or to sleep on my bed, and come out to eat and drink and answer the call of nature.  Once in awhile they get distracted by the neighbor's dog, or a bunny in the backyard.  They are gentle creatures who roam my house when I'm not there, sit with me and snuggle when I am, and make little sleepy sounds when I'm late going to bed.  Sometimes its hard to find a large enough spot in the bed to sleep, even though they are not large dogs.  How much space they take!  In my heart, and in my home and in my life.  They let me rub their chins together and look into their eyes.  They are forgiving when I need to move and it disturbs their slumber.  I am so fortunate and grateful for them, my Tuck and Patti, who love to play squeaky-toy with their Carrie.  :) 

For my friends who are grieving, I love you.

From the website:  www.peaceablekingdomac.com:
HEALING:
Given time, healing will occur for the bereaved owner. However, there are several things that the grief stricken owner can do to help speed up the healing process:

1. Give yourself permission to grieve.  Only YOU know what your pet meant to you.
2. Memorialize your pet.  Makes the loss real and helps with closure.  Allows the bereaved to express their feelings, pay tribute and reflect.  Draws in social support.
3. Get lots of rest, good nutrition and exercise.
4. Surround yourself with people who understand your loss.  Let others care for you.  Take advantage of support groups for bereaved pet owners.
5. Learn all you can about the grief process.  Helps owners realize that what they are experiencing is normal.
6. Accept the feelings that come with grief.  Talk, write, sing, or draw.
7. Indulge yourself in small pleasures.
8. Be patient with yourself.   DON'T let society dictate how long mourning should last.
9. Give yourself permission to backslide.  It WILL end and your life WILL be normal again.  Grief is like waves in the ocean: at first the waves come in fast and hard, but as time goes on, the waves become less intense and further apart.  Don't be surprised if holidays, smells, sounds, or words trigger a relapse.
10. Don't be afraid to get help.  Pet loss support groups, grief counselors...
11. Be sure to consult your own "Higher Power."  Either religious or spiritual.

Anxiety and Informed Choice

I find myself saying the words 'so we know we did it on purpose' a lot.  The events of our lives can be anxiety-producing and overwhelming at times, and we can handle that.  We become afraid that the decision we're making or the conclusion we just came to might not work out in the long run.  I suggest we add a little bit of information to the equation, and see what happens.  Drop the urgency down a notch, take a breath and go after some new information, or a deeper level of understanding.  Turn the reaction to something into a response to something; do the next thing 'on purpose', not automatically.  Let's use our hearts and brains every day in every decision we make.  Take control.  Say 'Yes' or say 'No', and make it really reflect what you want as the outcome.  Every time.