Late Night

Since taking this job, I have not had the late nights/no lunch sort of day until this week.  In a way, it's refreshing... to be working so hard/intensely that the hours go by without noticing.  The kind of day that you don't realize you have to go to the bathroom until you stand up.... for the first time in hours.  It feels OK.  I don't like working this way for long periods of time, but once in awhile for a couple of weeks, it's OK.

In a way, the singular focus and concentration is a peaceful place.  There is no room from drama, or gossip, or anything unproductive.  No day dreaming or distractions can be allowed.  Ahhh, the peace of hard work, and the satisfaction it can bring.

I want to hold your hand - in German

This morning, my alarm clock - which plays my iPod music as the alarm - is playing the Beatles singing in German.  Even the little I know having taken German myself in high school, and traveled there once tells me John is singing in a distinctly British accent.  But to the point.  We tailor our message to our audience, to sell the item or the point.  And that's not all, we tailor our personal messages to friends and family to meet their needs and our agendas for them.  Take a moment to think about what you say to others. Is there some underlying agenda?  Is it aimed at being a better friend/spouse?  Is it aimed at getting something you want without regard to others?  Thich Nhat Hahn said somewhere that the best gift is the one the receiver wants to get. Be mindful with those words.  Words can create affinity or division.  I'm sure the teens in Germany were very happy to hear those Beatles singing in their own language.

The lost art of holding hands

I was able to visit briefly with my mother over the weekend.  She is 93, and I am so grateful that she is still on the planet.  We held hands in the car on the way to the airport.  I've never held her hand for so long, and I tried to imprint that feeling somehow…. Knowing that it will not last as a physical impression, but will only last in my mind.   It is such a small thing, and we didn't speak about it, or even look at each other.   It is amazing to just be that present.  Holding hands was the right thing to do and the only thing needed.

Expectations

Or lack thereof.
When I'm most anxious or worried, it is about having expectations.... or the expectation that someone else may expect something s/he isn't communicating.  Aarrrgggh.  I like the void.  The place where there is freedom to do what comes up at the moment.... to feel the feeling that arises and to let that go to make room for the next.  Sometimes there seems to be complete emptiness, and I treasure those moments.  They are still and peaceful times. 

Friends Who Nag

OK!  wow.  I'll do it.  :)
I really can't guarantee that I'll be completely faithful and write everyday.  What I will do is write when I think to write.  That could end up being more frequent some days, and less frequent others.  I am human after all.  Thank you thank you thank you.
I am so grateful for the people in my life, who mostly seem to love me and bear with me.  You are all amazing!
More on friends who nag later.  You know who you are....