Monday, April 23, 2012

Things I Don't Know

There are many things I don't know.  Mostly those have to do with the answer to the 'why' question.  It is hard enough to see the thing itself that getting to 'why it is the way it is' seems completely impossible.  Lots of people spend lots of time looking at the 'why' so they can figure out how to change the thing.  We could just look at the thing the way it is now, really look, and understand how to make it different.  We don't have to go back to how it got that way in the first place.  We say we like to do that so we 'understand'... but it turns into just learning the history of the thing and rarely sheds light on what to do to make a change.  So, start with what is now and go from there.  When you do that, it doesn't matter what you don't know, it just matters that you can see what is in front of you.

Friday, April 20, 2012


Woke up early thinking.  Don't know why, don't remember what I was thinking about.  I was just awake and couldn't get back to sleep.  Did the body inventory to see if anything hurt or was awkardly arranged.... the dogs weren't up and they didn't notice I was awake.  My mind was active, so I tried to calm that.  Breathing in I notice my breath, breathing out I notice my breath... and fell back asleep for a couple of minutes.  So, then the mental inventory... am I worried about something I need to do today, did I forget to do something important yesterday, is there someone I need to talk with about something?
No clue.  So, I accepted that I was awake, thinking randomly and that allowed me to go back to sleep.  I have no idea how this works....

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Music from the 70's

Ah.  Early Elton John, not Crocodile Rock... Daniel, Tiny Dancer.... Jefferson Airplane, not Starship.  Grace Slick, Mary Travers, Christine Perfect, Carla Bonoff, Joan Baez.  Music matches the times.  I'm so happy that I was around when I was, and I can't help thinking that my kids will look back on the early 21st century and say, 'Ah, early Snoop Dog.'.....  :)  I'm glad they also have an appreciation for Adele, who to me sounds like late 60's London Beat.  Go figure.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes

Turn and face the strange changes.....  Impermanence is Buddha Nature.  I see that, and I see that Buddha nature or not, we can't stop change from happening.  There's a book called "If the Buddha Got Stuck" by Charlotte Kasl.  It's a great little book with lots of good information on what to do when you find yourself just not able to adjust to change, or even see that it's all around.  The idea of the buddha getting stuck, when what he's about is NOT getting stuck on anything is sort of funny.  But, I suppose there was a time when even he wasn't all that enlightened, and figured the world was a specific way and it would stay that way.  Maybe it's just growing up or growing old, but I find that I expect fewer and fewer things to be the same the next time I see them.  Of course, to stop moving is to die, and death is just another change.  And then what happens when we die?  We continue to change... our bodies change, our spirit is released to new lessons, our chemicals and moisture are returned to the world, and what we leave behind in others evolves as they need it to evolve.  So,we can't 'count' on anything.  OK. I can live with that.  Thank you David Bowie.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Don't try to save the pizza

Here's what happened.  The boys and I went to a restaurant where they served stuffed crust Chicago style pizza.  We ordered too much.  It was one of the best pizzas I've had in my life [next to Pisanello's in Mt. Pleasant, of course - one can never match that college town pizza], and I wanted to take the three pieces we couldn't eat right then.  So, they get wrapped up by the waiter, and labeled and we each put a piece in our backpacks.  Luckily, we checked on them before they leaked all over our stuff.  In the end, we threw them away, as we were too full to just eat them, and not willing to keep them and have the mess.  For me, the lesson is; if you get more than you need and can't use, let the rest go, even if it may seem like a waste.  Holding onto something that 'might be' useful at some unknown future time can backfire on you and make a mess in the present.


I find myself sitting back and listening.  When I listen I hear things that make me smile.  When I smile I feel connected with the message I am hearing.  The other thing I'm finding is that I hear beyond the words that appear in my ears, that messages about the speaker and those who respond come in at another level.  Which makes me smile more, and feel more connected.  Keep talking, people, you're making me happy!

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Take a Lesson

My grandmother on my mother's side used to say this to me when I was a child.  At the time, I didn't really get the WHOLE message.  What I got was "listen to me and do what I said."  It occurs to me today that she might have really meant that there was something to learn in what had just happened; that taking a lesson meant that I could do things differently next time.  Because my grandmother used that phrase a lot, I think of it as old fashioned and almost archaic a term.  Some people feel that way about the word 'groovy'.... poor things.  Anyway, 'Take a Lesson' might just be another way to suggest that we can learn from our mistakes and faults when they are brought to our attention.  Notice everything.

Mirror mirror

There are people in our lives who are mirrors.  Whenever we talk with them, think of them or see them across the room, they have something to offer us, some sort of feedback we can use.  The things they do or say that irritate us are lessons about how we may offend others.  They can nonchalantly say things that strike at the heart of our fears and insecurities, leaving us like a puddle on the floor - and they don't even know what's happened.  Be grateful for these friends.  Thank them for their honesty and candor.  Take the lesson and understand more about yourself.  I am happy that I have a number of mirrors in my life even when they make me want to scream.  :)

Wednesday, April 4, 2012


There are a lot of ways to rest.  Sit still.  Close your eyes.  Imagine your breath as you breathe in; imagine seeing it leave your body when you breathe out.  Lie down, close your eyes, imagine your body completely relaxed... start with your toes and do an inventory of each muscle group til you get to the top of your head.  Imagine there is no tension anywhere in your body.  Be completely with yourself for a few moments.  Do it every day.  Sleep well.