Monday, November 17, 2014


Friday evening I had the great good fortune to be in a conversation with a friend.  This happens a lot for me as it turns out, and I am very grateful for all the amazing people in my life.  One thing we talked about has stayed with me for two days now, so I'm going to share it with you.  

We were talking about language, and being aware of the words we use; about how a "What" question can take you forward and kick off imagination and creativity, and how a "Why" question just sort of stops things dead and makes us look into the past.  Then we examined the Law of Attraction principle that says [paraphrased here] that the Universe doesn't hear the word 'No'.  When we say "I don't want to be poor" with the kind of feeling that might reasonably accompany that statement, the Universe hears the feeling and focuses on the concept of "poor" [because WE are focused on the concept of poor] and, being a generous entity, gives us more of of that.  We get what we ask for, and what we ask for comes in the form of our feelings.  Our feeling energy puts form to our thoughts and wants desperately to manifest in our reality.  So, be careful what you say; be careful what you think.  Be aware of your feelings, even when they might scare you.  They are very informative. The great ocean of abundance will match your feeling and manifest those things about which you feel most deeply.  

So, my hope for you today is that you can find those things in your life that make you happy, and generate more of that!  I am so happy that you are in my life.  Stay in touch.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014


So, it's Veteran's Day. My father's service was during WWII where he served in the motorpool in Texas and Japan after the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. He didn't talk much about his time. I'm guessing he didn't want to think about it. He moved forward, and there was nothing in my childhood that made me think that he was anything less than whole as he was gentle and kind to us kids. He was funny and smart and a work-a-holic... maybe that was how he dealt with his experience. I don't know. He just seemed like a regular, nice guy to me.

To this day, I cannot accept the need for a military, or for war. I do appreciate that people put themselves physically, emotionally, mentally and morally at risk every day for a purpose larger than themselves. That is what I am thankful for today... We all want a better world. Thank you Roger, and Dawn, and Susan N. and Mickey and Hoy and the hundreds of other people I know who did your part in service and now do your part every day to make the world a better place, right where you are - wherever that happens to be.
Wayne Burley - 1914-1996

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

For The River

There is a little book by John O'Donohue called "To Bless the Space Between Us".  I opened it this morning as I sometimes do, to see what message I would get.  It opened to "In Praise of Water".  One of the passages is:  "Let us bless the grace of water.....The courage of the river to continue, believe in the slow fall of ground, always falling further, toward the unseen ocean."  It goes on; there is more, and I stopped there.
The courage of the river to continue.  We can look at or remember the nature of our lives... that it is something that flows from beginning to end without really stopping.  Life is a lot like water that springs up and starts it's way down hill... moving around rocks and limbs and high places, seeking the way down, finding the easy route.  It takes courage to go where the flow is strongest.  That route holds the greatest potential for movement, and sometimes we just get tired and want to stop in the eddy.  We want to stop to rest, and the danger there is that we get stuck in the swirl, going round and around without forward movement.  Resting maybe, wondering what is beyond certainly.
Get back in the strongest flow, be courageous and welcome the adventure that is your life.  'Believe in the slow fall of ground' ahead of you; take that step, knowing it is leading you toward the 'unseen ocean' that is your life's true meaning.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Stepping Out/Stepping In

Last week at this time we were starting our third day of coach training in LA. :) I like it there. The Torrance Marriott is right next door to the first place I worked when I moved to that be with the woman I loved. It was a real adventure. I grew up in a village of 300 [we didn't really live IN the village, but on the outskirts] where the biggest thing was the summer when the resorters would come up to spend their vacations at the lake. Just across the road from my front yard was a pretty little lake and I grew up swimming and canoeing and sailing in a tiny little dingy. It was heaven. Anyway, at age 38 I found myself moving to LA. The two places couldn't be much different, but I've found that people create their small communities within larger ones, and I didn't have to live in ALL of the greater Los Angeles area. Thank god. I had a wonderful time while I lived there and made some big changes in how I am in the world. It was also a time when I met people who would become life-long friends. Not much is better than that!
This morning I thought about you, and about how it is easy sometimes to lose track of who we are.... that our circumstances take hold now and then, even when we've learned to pay attention and do what we can to NOT be governed by them. My circumstances in LA were initially not ideal [aside from getting to live with someone I really loved and with whom I connected in a very solid way], and it was probably a 'dumb' thing to do. I took that step into the unknown in order to accomplish something beyond what I had been up until that time. I didn't really know that's what I was doing. I was just drawn by something bigger than myself. By stepping out of my comfortable small box, I was stepping into a life that has continued to expand and bring more joy, opportunity, love and freedom.
So this morning I want to encourage you to do something a little different today. Stretch into something new, talk with a new person or take a different route home after work. Step out.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Ask For It

There is more than enough in the world for everyone to have what they want.  Every moment of our lives we send messages of abundance or lack, confidence or despondence, joy or terror into the energy pool in which we live.  Lack, despondence and terror are dark energies that subdue and inhibit creativity, love and freedom.  Abundance, confidence and joy release and increase these feelings in each of us.  Whether you are a witness to the dark or a participant, there are things you can do to turn that around.

Ask for relief, ask for energy, ask for joy!  Start with gratitude for what you have right now... no matter how 'little' that might be.  To begin with, you have your mind - start with gratitude for the simple fact that you can think and change your mind when you have new information.... that's not a small thing, is it?  You are still breathing.... that's not a small thing either.  :)  You are connected to the power to change your life all the time.  Remember that, and ask for what you want, ask for a life you love living.  Do it now.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

The lost is found

I knew it was there.... somewhere in the house.  I hadn't seen it in quite some time, and when I finally found it a flood of memories arrived with the finding.  I can finally stop wondering where it is.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Down, but Not Out

In this picture you see a branch of the tree in my back yard in full bloom.  About a month ago, during a really high wind, the tree let this branch go.  Over the days after, it drooped lower and lower... not enough water to the tree I think.  Last week it was completely green, just the like the rest of the tree.  This morning I see that it is in full bloom, as if it had not fallen out at all.  It is holding on and continuing, as if it is still part of the whole.  It has not given up.  It continues to be optimistic.  The song birds and hummingbirds still love it.  I am inspired by the tenacity of nature.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Interruption or Opportunity?

Sometimes life presents us with choices.... some of these choices are easy.... the 'right' path is obvious and offers joy and ease; it is perfectly aligned with who we are.  Some choices are not so easy and the options must be evaluated against a set of standards that each of us set for ourselves.  We will typically pick the option that causes us the least pain, or seems to have a higher value.  What if the response to the choice could include aspects of BOTH options?  What if the response to the choice is that NEITHER of them are a fit and we can come up with something new/different to do?  Wow.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Be Do Have

One way to look at success is to remember these three things, in this order.  I'll talk about this in the first person, so we all know I'm on this journey too.  :)

First I become, in my imagination, the person I want to be.  I set my vision as clearly and in as much detail as I can manage.  I write down the characteristics of that person [the ideal me] as they relate to relationships, health, work, leisure time and giving back to my community.  I write all that down and put it in a place where I see it regularly. Some people make a vision board for this, some use sticky-notes, some write things on their mirrors... use whatever works for you.  I set the intention and imagine myself being that ideal me.  

Second, I start doing those things that the person I want to be would do, because I've got lots of ideas now that I've put together the vision.  I work on improving my relationships; I start bringing bring more of myself to my current  job; I pay attention to what I'm eating and to my exercise routine [or lack of it]; I find ways to serve in my community.  I spend more time doing those things that 'my ideal me', would do.  Things that are not in line with my ideal person get squeezed out... there's just no time for them now.

Third, I allow myself to have the success.  I look around my life, my world, and see that I have much of what I want already.  I am grateful for that, and I acknowledge all of my successes right now.  I acknowledge and celebrate the little things I accomplish every day.... more than the usual kind words to a child or a partner, more focus on doing things that help me create the ideal me.  I see what I have and what I'm creating every day and celebrate every small step.  This builds an awareness and appreciation of all that I have and all that I am in each moment, and makes it easier for the 'future me' to emerge with ease....step by step.

Success takes time and attention.  It takes awareness, focus and intent, action and evaluation.  It takes willingness to go beyond what I know now, learn new things, meet new people, and to take some chances.  Pick one small thing, if some huge success seems too difficult.  Use the three steps today to try it out. Really immerse yourself in making something happen.  

If you don't make the change you want in your life today, when will you?
I congratulate you for the successes you have today, and for those that are still only dreams.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Life's Little Events

My mother is now 95.  She lives alone and drives now and then.  She lives in a very small town and knows where she's going.  She still keeps the house clean and has found reliable folks to care for her yard and do big projects around the house.  She sometimes uses the internet and has an iPhone on which she takes pictures and writes the occasional text.  She's pretty groovy.

Her brother died in World War II trying to save his plane from an enemy attack on the airstrip in the South Pacific.  Memorial Day is always a big day for her, as she remembers him as her big brother and best childhood friend.  We talked about how letting go is the best memorial... That holding on and dwelling on things that can't be changed end up poisoning your life and holding you back from really living the life that person would want you to live.

So, we move on... Knowing that each life event, whether it feels big or little at the time is just that - a life event.  Things happen all the time that change us; make us stronger or weaker, richer or poorer, smarter or not.  We put these things into the perspective of a life to be lived as a whole, not just a series of random events.  We incorporate each thing into a larger context and see what there is to learn.  The events are the threads we weave together sometimes skillfully, sometimes with great effort and sketchy results.  Nonetheless, a whole life emerges.  Every now and then, on birthdays and Memorial Days or any day, it helps to stop for a minute and look at life as the big whole thing... And be grateful for all of it.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

I am Invincible Part 2

If you read my last post, you might be asking yourself how it really works...  What needs to be done after you've noticed that something isn't right?  How do those new thoughts and behaviors get created?  Once you've decided, and I mean REALLY DECIDED, to make a change and become the person you know your are meant to be, you start with forgiveness.  We have to forgive ourselves for letting others distract and redirect us away from our true nature; we have to forgive them for doing it.  Take a deep breath.  Take another one.  Really forgive yourself, and 'the other guy'.  You'll know you've done it when you start to smile and relax.

Then, start acting like yourself.... say the things you really want to say, resist saying things you don't really want to say, stop being polite, start saying 'no thank you'.  Start saying 'yes' without trying to justify it.  If it feels right to say 'yes', that's all you need.  When you're saying 'yes' or 'no' from that true place inside you, it is easier to stand firm in your word as the outward expression of who you really are.  "Yes" is a complete sentence.  So is "No". Period.  Practice them.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

I am Invincible long as I'm alive.  Those are the words to a song, and whenever I hear it, it just sounds odd.  Well, yes of course, we are all invincible until we die... at least in a material sense.

But what about emotional or spiritual invincibility?  It is possible to become immune to emotional death or spiritual disconnection - to become invincible on that level while we remain alive?  Part of our aliveness is our ability to experience events and people at an intimate level.  To do that there are a lot of challenges.  The first is to see that we may no longer have the depth of feeling for others that we once had, that it is hard to get excited about anything and that now and then we 'just don't feel like it', we don't feel that we belong or have a part to play in life.  To be honest about how easily our hearts and spirits may have been damaged takes a close, hard look and a lot of courage.

It takes courage to look at your own life and say "This isn't really me.  This isn't who I am or what I want to do.  I am more than this."  These are hard statements to make and hard conditions to change.  Our first inclination might be to minimize or altogether deny that there might be a problem.  But we must turn on the light of awareness.  When we can see what's going on can we create new thoughts and behave in a way that leads to the invincibility of our minds and spirits.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Love you like a dog

Some things I want to say about that... 
1.  My dog always treats me the same, no matter what mood I'm in.
2.  My dog doesn't comment on how I look naked.  
3.  He can eat the same food twice a day for YEARS and not complain... in fact, he's always excited about it and acts like food is the greatest gift ever.... maybe it is.  He always comes to find me after he eats to get a little pat on the head.
4.  My dog doesn't speak an unkind word, criticize, complain or whine about how clean the house is, how many dishes are left in the sink, or how much clutter is on all the 'flat surfaces' around the house.
5.  He likes to rest near me, yet out of my way.
6.  He conducts his life on his own schedule and lets me know when I can help him.
7.  I try to make his life easy and let him know I love him.... he seems fine with that.

We should all have someone, dog or human, who can be this way in our lives.

Friday, May 2, 2014

Fear - that's still here?

Yes, well, of course.  Fear lurks around us all the time, and this is what I know:  it is my job to see it. It is my job to name it.  It is my job to honor it as a message from my life that I have a chance to grow.  I am grateful for my fear, as it lets me know that I am at the edge of my life 'up until now'.  There is something greater than my current circumstances that is calling me forward.  The unknown can become known, the unexperienced can be experienced.  A limited life can become unlimited when we decide to say Yes, Of Course.  "Navigate into the storm, do it afraid."  I know that I am not alone; I know that my limitless life is beyond that storm, waiting patiently for me to arrive.
Albert Einstein said; "Match the frequency of the reality that you want, and it must be yours.  It can be no other way.  This is not philosophy, this is physics."  I want an expansive life, a possibility life, a life of abundant health, wealth and service.  I will match THAT frequency.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

What Love Is

I know what love is.  It's big.  Anytime loves looks small to you, it's not really love.  Anytime something holds you back, or constrains you in any way, it's not love.  Anyone who tells you they love you and attempts to keep you from fully expressing who you are does not love you.  When you feel full, expansive, free, generous, happy.... then look for love.  I'm not convinced we can really feel another person's love in the way they want to give it... I only know that we can feel our own.  Often it is unexpressibly immense.... at which point we as pitiful humans lose all our words.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Being small

My mother is the master of taking up less space in the world than she deserves.  Growing up, I watched this powerful woman put herself down, defer to the men in her life and generally deny her own greatness.  I could tell she wanted to be bigger, to be more in charge of her own life, but she never spoke that out loud.  She has yet to show the joy that comes with claiming her space in the world.  She seems resigned to being the quietly suffering victim, denying the forgiveness for herself and others that would set her free.  I am very glad that she is my mother and very healthy.; it makes me sad that she is not happier.  She has inspired my work.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Life's Little Challenges

Sometimes life just shows up as a big surprise.  Out of nowhere, something occurs or a new person appears that just sort of makes you stop in your tracks.  You get a chance to take a deep breath, look at what's going on and say to yourself "Wow, what do I do now?"  This may feel uncomfortable, because you may be asked to move into some new territory, it may feel like 'this again?', it may feel like you just want to run away.  OK; take that good deep breath and sit still for a minute.  Open your mind and your heart to the possibility built into the challenge.  Create your own resonse, make up something new, do that thing differently, decide to treat that new person like you've never treated another person.  It's your life, make it what YOU want.  It's OK to experiment.  Make it yours, make it good.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Vision and Vacuum

It occured to me the other day that if nature abhors a vacuum, and the vision that I've built so far isn't big enough to create space/vacuum between what I am now and my vision, then nature can't help me.... there is no place for the new vision stuff to land.  I've got to go BIG.  Bigger than I have imagined so far.  The result is that I have been able to get very specific about my next car.  I'm not in need of one today, and when I do get one, I now know what it will be.   My ideas so far have just not been exciting enough.  This one is.  The vision has got to be bigger.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Thursday's Banana

It's Sunday.  There is a banana that I picked up on Thursday.  It was the perfect combination of ripe and not yet too ripe.  The perfect color and texture, the perfect weight, hardness/softness, size.  I didn't eat it when it was perfect.  I waited until Friday.... there were a few spots, I didn't pick it up at all, I was busy.  On Saturday the peal appeared with more dark spots and lines along edges... the stem looked a bit thinner.  I didn't pick it up.  I thought to myself  "it's past the point I want to eat it.  I'll put it in a smoothey."  I didn't do that.  It's Sunday, the banana is where I left it on Thursday, looking a bit worse for the wear.  I'm almost afraid to touch it and mostly want to throw it away.  For some people, this banana NOW is perfect.... the perfect color, size, ripeness, texture.  Not for me.  I should have eaten it Thursday, now all I have is regret.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Every morning

Each morning I get 4 regular e mails. Two of them come from my coach trainer, one is an inspirational video, the other is more of a thought provoking idea, or affirmation. The third is usually a beautiful picture of a person or place, with a challenge to really think about what I'm doing in my life. The fourth is sometimes a short story about the weather, or pets or breakfast. My favorite is the fourth. It comes from a person who I know loves me just as I am.  

Friday, April 4, 2014

The key

Recently my mother gave me my father's key to the house.  This is the key to the house I grew up in, where my mother still lives and where I take my kids once a year to see Grandma Jean.  I don't know where she found it, or how long she's been holding on to it.  My dad passed away something short of 15 years ago.  When I hold the key, or see it lying on my counter, I think of him.  It's not my memories of him that I think of, but out of some kind of magic, it's his spirit that comes to mind.  It's those things that I really didn't notice about him when he was living that stay with me now.  How does this happen?  The small things, like the things that would make him smile, or the way he acted when he was being patient with my mom.  The fact that I never heard him raise his voice to anyone in any way that seemed like anger or frustration.  He has been very solid for me my whole life, even since he's been gone.  I'm so happy I am his daughter.  Maybe the key is here to remind me of that.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Make the dream come true

Find out who you are.  If you think you already know, try remembering something you dreamt might happen to you when you were a kid.  Dig deeper into yourself.  Look closely without fear or judgement... who's to know what you see?  Only you decide what to share with others; we can't see into you without your permission, so be brave with your self.  It's the safest place to do it.  What are you afraid of?  When you are focused on what you really want, nothing gets in the way, not even your self.  Do one thing today that scares you. [thanks Eleanor Roosevelt for that idea.]

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Another one bites the dust

It may seem insensitive to put it that way, and I'm pretty sure Colleen would be OK with it.  I found out through a Facebook posting last week that a wonderful friend has passed onto the next piece of her journey.  I am not known for being gentle about things, and can be rather blunt.  Colleen knew that and loved me anyway.  Her approach, at least what I witnessed, was one of acceptance and love.  During one of our more philosophical conversations she described herself as 'content'.  She placed very few demands on me and our friendship, and supported me through a very difficult time with tenderness and humor, mixed in with practical suggestions on what I could be doing instead of crying all the time.  :)  I never felt judged by her, or in competition with her.  She allowed me to be who I needed to be whatever that looked like; sad, playful, witty, not-so-bright...  I know she knows I love her, and my regret is that I didn't visit her at all in the last 4 years.  She didn't ask, I didn't offer.  The last time I saw her, we were having breakfast at a little diner near her house.  I don't know what either of us were eating, I do remember how it felt to have her on the other side of the table... with that twinkle in her eye....  I felt loved - and I know that doesn't stop just because someone dies.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Jailors and Angels

Today as I was reading "As A Man Thinketh" by James Allen, I ran across text that I will paraphrase as: "Thoughts and actions are the jailors of fate, and the angels of freedom."  This concept; that our own mental and physical behaviors determine whether or not we live expansively or in constraint, takes the Law of Attraction into actionable territory  It's one thing to imagine and vision a life you would love living, and another thing completely to step toward it.  We are our own Jailors and Angels. We control what happens when we put thought into action - even really simple, short-term action - prompted by some small decision.  Open the door to your life and step across the threshold, don't just look out and wonder.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Fun times

Here's a picture of my two favorite motorcycles in the whole world.  My garage is big enough to hold them both, and I am in the process of switching from riding the one in the back to riding the one in the front.  These are my favorites because I have been fortunate in that a friend and I used to ride [her's was the red one, and mine the black one] together a lot.  Riding with her was a joy, and I would often think, while sitting at a stop light that she should just cut the unnecessary revving.... and that I loved the feeling of companionship, like purpose, shared joy and non-verbal communication we shared.  We could navigate traffic on the Vegas Strip and open road alike with ease and safety without a word; we shared a penchant for ice cream at the end of a summer evening ride, or breakfast at Callville Bay.  I am more than pleased to love and care for her bike going forward and to pass mine along to another friend who is new to riding and will find her own joy on the road.  We are family.  I know that these two bikes will remain friends and have many more fun times together.

Monday, February 17, 2014


More people in my life are talking about death as a transition.  I get it.  Using a different word helps lighten the load a bit.  Death is such a final word.  It implies a distinct end to something after which there is nothing or emptiness or some great vacuum.  Sure, when we die our hearts cease to beat and our breathing which we rarely noticed, ends.  What remains is eternal, kept daily by those we love, and those we didn't. Everyone we touch is affected.  Everyone.
The world lost another child, parent, partner, friend.  It happens every day, many times a day.  We can't escape it.  When possible, we let our hearts feel, let our hands miss the physical presence, our ears listen for that voice, our eyes search the room for him/her who will not be seen again.  When possible, we hold to the knowledge that our beloved has dropped the confines of a miraculous mechanical form and is now living everywhere.  The transition takes place.  We honor that.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Partners in Believing

One of the main life transforming ideas I teach is that we need partners in believing to reach our goals.  So many times we try to make it on our own, resist asking for help, and keep our anxieties about money, relationships and success to ourselves.

Why do we do this?  A couple of things that come to mind are pride, competitiveness, fear of failure, or fear of exposing weakness to others.  These are not natural conditions for human beings!  Those are all fear-based ideas.  Your partners in believing look past your pride, do not compete with you, support you when you fail and hold your vulnerabilities gently... these are the people you want close.

You know how it feels to be completely accepted, loved and honored.  You can surround yourself with those who offer you that.  You know who these people are right now.  Let them know you appreciate them.

Many of you who are getting this message are my partners in believing, and I thank you for that now.  :)  Thanks for being there!


Yep.  It's tax time.  I'm sitting here with all my bills from last year.  Two different jobs, two different places where I lived, home office now, moving [can I deduct that?], rentals, lots of donations from the move home... I spent two hours entering all my donations and added about $400 to my refund.  I guess that's time well spent.  I now know where all that stuff went that I've been thinking: "I used to have a ...." or "where did I put that?"  It's gone.  Nice to have an inventory... Of course, there's still more to go.  OK, make room for something new!

Friday, February 14, 2014

Greetings from Home

I realized today that I still have this space to write, and that some people actually look for it, or take the link to it from my web site.  I am no longer working away from home, and I love being in my own space.  I've managed to clear out most of the excessive/duplicated items I brought home with me, or that appeared here while I was gone.  Did I write already about the 27 bath towels?  :)  That was a trip!  De-cluttering is a wonderfully refreshing activity that I should do on a regular basis... nothing better for creating open space and focus.  Will write more.