Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Commitments

One way to keep our personal peace and integrity is to honor our commitments. Put aside the urge to break or bend the promise until the reason is thoroughly considered. One huge commitment is having children. Nothing I can think of compares to the responsibility we take on when we bring children into our families. When that happens, the adults involved have to make decisions based on how the child/children will be affected. This includes, moving to a new house, having other children, changing schools, breaking up of the parents [should there be more than one involved], or bringing a new adult into the family. It also means that we now have people in our lives who will challenge us on a daily basis, and demand honest answers. Children know when we are lying or hiding something, just as other adults do, and no one should have to suffer knowing half the truth and being left to make up the other half. In my case, for a long time, I would always assume the worst possible scenario was playing out. Ow. That caused a lot of misery and misunderstanding. Then as an adult in my 40s I learned to ask questions and to find clarification, to not just make assumptions, but to be courageous enough to get to the real issue. It ALWAYS helps to know what commitments are yours, and where others stand on their commitments. For good lessons on not making assumptions, I recommend the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz [link is on this blog]. We often don't consider promises to be commitments, and they are. Be mindful of them, they have meaning and impact on yourself and others.

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